01Trailer for America 3000 (1986), dir. by David Engelbach
I watched this movie in its entirety last night. At least, I think I did. I went catatonic about 10 minutes in.
A movie of this caliber could really only be appreciated by the VHShitfest guys, but as they probably already own and love it, I extend this recommendation to the rest of you masochists who are into watching abysmal movies.
Note: trailer is very misleading. Enjoy!
In its entirety:
Mystery Science Theater 3000 S05E15 - The Wild World Of Batwoman
Opening with a Young American Films short on Cheating and featuring The Wild World Of Batwoman (1966) - dir. by Jeremy Warren
Of course, the feature is about as wild as a coma and has nothing to do with DC Comics.
Trailer for Zardoz (1974), dir. by John Boorman
Mind-numbing offal. The fact that Sean Connery does nothing for this picture makes me think that this was just one of those masturbatory ’70s experiments brought about by too much cough syrup and too few friends telling Boorman this was a bad idea.
By the way, in case any of you were wondering, the distant future is really, really tacky, and in desperate need of bras.
Feel like never wanting to hear The Queen’s English ever again? You should watch:
Girly (1970), dir. by Freddie Francis
Taken from IMDB:
“A wealthy, fatherless British clan kidnaps bums and hippies and forces them to participate in an elaborate role-playing game in which they are the perfect family; those who refuse or attempt escape are ritualistically murdered.”
This movie is so lulzy and obnoxious that it actually made my night. Girly, our leggy nymphette title character, and her voyeuristic brother Sonny are a couple of juvenile sadists who are dispatched by their Mumsy to bring home “friends” to integrate into their family. If the friend disobeys them in any way - most commonly by trying to get the fuck away from them - then they are “put on trial” and subsequently “sent to the angels”. Things change in the family’s psychotic little utopia, however, when Girly and Sonny bring home the cunning and mustachioed New Friend, who very quickly picks up on the family’s game and turns them against one another, mainly by targeting the sexual natures of the three women of the house - Girly, Mumsy and Nanny (sorry, Sonny, no rumpy-pumpy for you). Oh, but he’s really into Girly. So there’s that creep factor.
It’s not a very exciting film, but there’s a steamy scene or two, and the dialog is so grating that I am now convinced I’m a masochist for enjoying it as much as I did. I am still suffering for cinema, my friends. Let this film be a testament to that.
This experience was brought to me by the ever-witchy qwyx, who I plan on having more movie nights over the internet with. If any of you are interested in joining us, I’ll keep you posted on when the next movie night is. Until then, I highly recommend any fans of ’70s British b-cinema check out Girly (it’s all up on YouTube). In fact, I order you to. Don’t make me send you to the angels.
