The Farmer’s Wife (1928), directed by Alfred Hitchcock
How on earth this film came to be 98 minutes is beyond me.
It’s like “NO, ALFRED, WHY,” y’know?
If this isn’t one of the longest movies you’ve ever seen, I don’t know what. I felt like I’d been watching it for years before I stopped paying attention 3/4 of the way through.
The Farmer’s Wife is, however, a very interesting glimpse into what Hitchcock was doing before his reign of suspense. Also, did you see that British Board of Censors certification at the start of the film? Crazy, right? This time in America, the enforcement of censorship in the film industry was still shoddy, only just coming into power around 1934.
Oh man - gotta interrupt this post for a second to bring you:
An ice cream truck just drove by my house, obnoxious jingle blaring over its loudspeaker like a hundred children screaming for more. Oh, what a sweet, sweet sound.
So yes, back to this film.
If you can handle the longest 98 minutes of your life slapped through with some of the most ridiculous character interactions I’ve ever seen in a film, I’d highly suggest The Farmer’s Wife. Lilian Hall-Davis, who plays the maid Araminta, is a total babe, and Gordon Harker as town drunkard Churdles Ash (I don’t understand the names, either) is definitely the funniest part of the film. He is what I imagine all my male friends to be like in 30-40 years.
Oh, but I did lie to you a little bit. I didn’t watch this film (or however much of it) alone. I watched it with a boy, oh my!
But this is pertinent information, as The Farmer’s Wife was driving him nuts too, so to bear with it as long as we did, we added our own soundtrack.
It was loopy, and resulted in jokes like this:
That said, if you intend on watching this picture in its entirety (IT’S ALL UP ON YOUTUBE), then I suggest adding your own soundtrack to keep yourself from losing your mind.
Suffer for cinema.